Saturday, January 9, 2010

OBAMA UPSET HE WASN’T WARNED OF THE JAY LENO SHOW

President Obama shamefully announced yesterday at a press conference that he was upset that his Administration wasn’t prepared to defend the country against NBC’s “The Jay Leno Show.” With an Administration already embarrassed with the notorious underwear bomber and other airport security breaches, Obama believes the 10 PM talk show to be the most devastating act of terrorism to slip through his fingers yet. “Not only is this show bringing gloom and boredom to countless Americans every night, but it shamefully continues every night with no end in sight,” Obama said. Like Osama bin Laden, Jay Leno was initially supported and encouraged by the United States, just to later become hated by the American population at large. “We had Donald Rumsfeld shake hands with Osama in the eighties,” political science professor of Utah State University, Maxine Logan, said, “just in the same way Leno went from being embraced to being detested by the television viewing population." Leno’s specific terrorist acts include opening his show trying to be funny for seven minutes, then trying to make America laugh with a skit, and finally wrapping it up with painfully awkward interviews with hostages. “No longer is Leno going to kidnap celebrities and make them talk to him for fifteen minutes. No longer is Leno going to kidnap the attention of Americans. No more Leno ever. The buck stops here,” Obama emphatically stated in his speech. Though his rhetoric is more belligerent than ever, Obama still cautions Americans not to let their fear lead to discrimination. “Let us not fall prey to bigotry,” Obama warned, “Not all Americans with oversized chins are terrorizing American culture."

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