GEITHNER PROPOSES U.S. HIDE FROM CHINA TO PREVENT PAYING BACK DEBT

After numerous failed tactics at appealing to the Chinese government, who hold over one trillion dollars of American debt, a tired looking Secretary of Treasury Timothy Geithner announced yesterday in front of Congress that he would like to just hide behind "that really big wall they have over there," and hope that the Chinese forget about the "whole damn thing." America will give up its international dominance within the next decade or so to China, mainly because of the astronomical amount of money the United States has borrowed from the country, and to this, a disgruntled and hopeless Geithner replied at the hearing with, "couldn't we have just borrowed from Bill Gates or something? Goddamn, man." Looking noticeably more fatigued and gray since taking on the position as secretary of Treasury, Geithner briefly lit up when he recalled the fact that the Great Wall of China was the only manmade object seen from outer space. He then argued that Americans can just hide behind the allegedly large wall, and hope that the Chinese get too consumed with revoking human rights or censoring the media to remember the trillion dollar debt America owes them. "I mean, it's an idea, what do you want from me, blood?" the despondent Geithner said with his head resting languidly on the palm of his hand. Professor of American History at Loroy College, Ernie Lish, thought Geithner's plan to be good for the time being, but not effective on the long term. "We notice in history," Lish says, "that the Native Americans used the Grand Canyon to temporarily stave off the European settlers. And that worked for a good... 2 years." The same delay, Lish argued, would likely happen with Geithner's plan. New York Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer disapproved of Geithner's half-hearted idea, and instead proposed that America pay for the debt on its credit card.