JOURNEY STOPPED BELIEVING

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Much to the dismay of their legions of fans, eminent 80’s rock band Journey has stopped believing, according to band spokesperson Gil Straczynski. “After twenty plus years of believing, I regret to inform you that the band members had to stop,” Straczynski said in a press conference in London, which, among other things, announced the unexpected end of their 2009 European tour. Long time members of the multi-platinum selling band, Neal Schon and Ross Valory, both ended their 2009 European Tour with the terse public announcement: “We stopped. That’s the way we want it.” This news was especially tragic to fans of 80’s hard rock, following the death of Joe Elliot, lead singer of Def Leppard, who died last week in a tub of sugar that was allegedly poured on him by fellow band members.