Thursday, November 12, 2009

SOOTHSAYER OPINION: DOCTOR O'MALLEY

I'm writing to confess that I am really upset. I've been a doctor now for almost five years, and I'm a bit shocked, and frankly hurt, at the lack of consideration people have for me as a human being. The bottom line is people only come to see me when they're sick and need some sort of treatment, but never to just to see how I am doing. Never once has a patient come in just to talk about the latest news in the Senate, my opinions on Justin Timberlake’s new album, or to hear my opinions on anything other than their health. Now look, I don't mind helping out someone here and there if I can, but really, who do you people think I am? Why must you take advantage of our friendship by barging into my office, describing every symptom you have, without even a "how are you?" or an inquiry about my son's first grade science project. What gives? Just because I have this ability to heal you from life-threatening illness, doesn't mean you can trample all over my kindness by exploiting it. I mean at this point, I'm just dressing up in the white coat and keeping a stethoscope around my neck, just because I know I'll be treated like a doctor, and not the buddy to you I thought I was. Please stop abusing me, okay, otherwise I’m going to start billing you thousands of dollars for it, and neither of us really want that.

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