Tuesday, October 20, 2009

OBAMA CLAIMS HEALTH CARE BILL IS STUCK IN FLYING BALLOON

In a piece of breaking news, President Barack Obama has just announced that a copy of his health care bill is currently inside a silver, UFO-shaped balloon currently flying over Washington D.C. Obama claims that the piece of legislation, a multi-hundred page document outlining the details of his universal health care push, was originally released into the sky, at first, as a science experiment he helped his daughter Sasha with for school. However, now he has begun to alert all major news outlets and the FBI that it is indeed unsafely stuck up in the balloon. “My health care bill is in a dangerous situation as we speak. Let’s be real clear here, it is up in a balloon that was fallaciously built by me and my daughter,” Obama announced at a press conference at the White House. “Although it is admittedly controversial, all Americans must pray that it can return to the ground safely so it can pass in the Congress.” The crisis relates quite similarly to last week’s story about a family who allegedly staged their son’s disappearance in the balloon in order to get publicity for their future television endeavors, but Obama says that to compare the two is “absolutely ridiculous.” The sympathy for this bill's safety has crossed party lines in a show of bipartisan support. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell issued a statement saying that, "although we don't agree with the bill, we certainly join the Administration in wishing for its well-being and safe return." John McCain, Obama's opponent in the latest presidential election, also sent out his condolences to the Obama family. Some nevertheless speculate - including FOX News- that Obama is pulling a media stunt in order to acquire support for his divisive bill, citing his previous appearances in egomaniacal reality shows like The 2008 Presidential Election and The First 100 Days of His Presidency.

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